Hammered about the Book of Concord

Do you really want to be one of the suckers in the stadium - lunchmeat for lions? Not I.

I have to apologize for saying too many good things about the Book of Concord.

One person phoned me and said, "Idiot! Don't give away the plan."

Give it away? The plan has been operational for a long time, buddy.

At first it failed. That was during the days of the Evangelical Alliance, another cool idea. I woke up during church history, with drool on my desk, and heard the part about the Evangelical Alliance.

The idea was to merge all Protestants together. All the Lutherans had to do was drop the Sacraments and some Romish notions like baptismal regeneration and the Real Presence. We could baptize babies and have the Lord's Supper while being open and welcoming to the other Protestants.

We had to stop ranting at them about doctrinal differences.

We made headway, so I am told, for a long time. We had union churches. Lutherans had revivals. Is that great? Mourners benches. We also went easy on Lutheran hymns and the liturgy and creeds.

Then it all failed and Lutherans went the wrong way, back to the old stuff. I do not remember how that happened. I was a bouncer at Hooters and really sleepy, so I dozed off. (That is not true, of course. Factual stories would reveal my identity and I am too intimidated by you-know-who to reveal myself.)

But the plan has formed and taken over. All those old goals have been accomplished.

It took millions of dollars and lots of education at the right schools.

The plan is operational. We control everything.

They called me dumb in school and made fun of my knowledge. Non-reciprocating something or other. Well, who is laughing now?

You lurkers are stuck in Buffalo Chip Prairie while I am near headquarters. You cannot give away your stories, but I sell mine to the synod. Mine are printed in the magazine you have to read and rage about.

I may not be studious but I know which way the wind is blowing.

Some Good Points about the Concordia Triglotta

My friends would like me to say bad things about the Book of Concord, but I am especially keen about the Concordia Triglotta.

This is why:
1. The book is just too big, so it intimidates people. Latin? Are you serious? They dropped Latin from Sunday names already. Sesquipdia Sunday or whatever they call it.
2. The print is too small. Only a teen could read that and it is not on a cell phone - I hope.
3. Nobody promotes it. They sell modern versions. They are big, too. Large with a lot of content. That breeds disinterest and boredom.

We have to have studies of the Book of Concord to keep everyone happy. However, it is important that the synod sponsor the study, publish some materials, and let the matter fade away.

We all know most pastors are too busy to create their own studies of the Book of Concord. They have all those groups to manage and meetings to attend. If they are not doing that, they are running off to required circuit, district, and synod activities, where the staff do the thinking for them.

That is essential.

When pastors start creating their own studies, they tend to use current examples. They get themselves too excited and that spreads to the congregation. Soon everyone is finding problems instead of blending in.

Here are some ways of taking care of the situation:
1. Insist on using the Concordia Triglotta, which will make some of the geezers happy.
2. Let the treasurer know how much each Triglotta costs, so he can come to a meeting perspiring and outraged.
3. Mention how few have been interested in the Confessions in the past.
4. If anyone dares to ask for a study of the Confessions, say, "What? We tried that last year and decided against it." Pause for a moment, look concerned. "Maybe we can do a small group study of them later." Of course, that is the last thing to get going. Shudder.

In other words, the Confessions can be your friend, if used properly.

Whenever someone objects to anything being changed, just say in a solemn voice, "That is an adiaphoron."

Some might ask what that weird term is. After all, we don't even trust them to remember Latin. Not that I do.

Explain, "Adiaphoron means a matter of indifference. The plural is adiaphora." The listener will gasp at your knowledge of Greek, or was that Latin?