Friday, June 11, 2010

Hammered about the Book of Concord

Do you really want to be one of the suckers in the stadium - lunchmeat for lions? Not I.

I have to apologize for saying too many good things about the Book of Concord.

One person phoned me and said, "Idiot! Don't give away the plan."

Give it away? The plan has been operational for a long time, buddy.

At first it failed. That was during the days of the Evangelical Alliance, another cool idea. I woke up during church history, with drool on my desk, and heard the part about the Evangelical Alliance.

The idea was to merge all Protestants together. All the Lutherans had to do was drop the Sacraments and some Romish notions like baptismal regeneration and the Real Presence. We could baptize babies and have the Lord's Supper while being open and welcoming to the other Protestants.

We had to stop ranting at them about doctrinal differences.

We made headway, so I am told, for a long time. We had union churches. Lutherans had revivals. Is that great? Mourners benches. We also went easy on Lutheran hymns and the liturgy and creeds.

Then it all failed and Lutherans went the wrong way, back to the old stuff. I do not remember how that happened. I was a bouncer at Hooters and really sleepy, so I dozed off. (That is not true, of course. Factual stories would reveal my identity and I am too intimidated by you-know-who to reveal myself.)

But the plan has formed and taken over. All those old goals have been accomplished.

It took millions of dollars and lots of education at the right schools.

The plan is operational. We control everything.

They called me dumb in school and made fun of my knowledge. Non-reciprocating something or other. Well, who is laughing now?

You lurkers are stuck in Buffalo Chip Prairie while I am near headquarters. You cannot give away your stories, but I sell mine to the synod. Mine are printed in the magazine you have to read and rage about.

I may not be studious but I know which way the wind is blowing.

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